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ASH WEDNESDAY BLOG/confession

 

Why do you torment me with necessity?  So much to say.  So much more to do before I rest on a cloud or a bed of fire.  Pandemic is relentless.  It is immune to moral inquiry and criticism. So much treachery to overcome.  I am weary, unspeakably weary, and the face of death is more and more beautiful.

 

Each letter my fingers type is alien to my autograph.  A blatant lie about how weary I am.

 

Weary ---a curse word for tomorrow's future.  Or the today that refuses to arrive.  And what is gained from cussing in the name of prayer?  Zero.

 

I would have my letters be lottery winners.  That is not destined to be. Shame. The filth of wealth runs away from me. Shame. Necessity, why do you torment me?  In cross-signed Catholicism , the face of Death is beautiful .  So too is living.

 

Open confession is good, so the world tells me, for a body's soul, but at this moment I am too weary to die in a confession.

 

Jerry W. Ward, Jr.                            February 17, 2021

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